Because stuff needs talking about.

Daily Top 5 #2

Top 5 Biggest Knobheads to have Played in the Premier League

5.  Craig Bellamy– Constantly bitching to the ref and mouthing off to opponents and teammates alike, marking this guy for 90 minutes would feel like being stuck in the middle of a Jeremy Kyle ‘I’m an arsehole and everyone hates me’ special.

4.  John Terry– Everyone knows what there is to know about this clown.  The serial love rat, ruining marriages left right and centre, also occasionally goes in for a bit of televised racism.  What’s worse is that whenever he sleeps his way into the tabloid papers, we have to look at his horrible, cockney, transvestite-without-make-up-on face.  Also, not content with his huge wage budget, he felt the need to earn an extra ten grand for a guided tour of the Chelsea training ground!  Maybe this chump should have been higher up the list.

3.  Joey Barton– Well, well, well.  Mr. Twitter himself.  What is there not to love about this guy?  He openly criticises managers and players.  He whinges and moans about his own failures on the pitch and blames anyone within range when things don’t go his way.  Also there’s the small matter of constantly beating people up on and off the training ground.  What’s worst though is his self-appointed role of social commentator and speaker of truth about football when really he’s just a petty, whining, spoilt child of a player.

2.  Ashley Cole– Probably the best left back in the world but sadly one of the biggest knobheads in the game as well.  Always moaning, over and over again in the ref’s face.  Actually shouting and swearing right in his face.  I honestly can’t wait for the day when Howard Webb just lamps his one to the cheers of football fans all over the country.  Of course there are his infidelities but we all know about that.  Oh yes and the small matter of him shooting a lad on work experience at the training ground.  What a prick.

1.  El Hadji Diouf– Spitting is disgusting.  There are few things quite as horrible.  This man has it down to a tee.  On several occasions Diouf has been found guilty of spitting, most despicable of all being when he was charged for gobbing all over an 11 year old boy.  He also spat directly in the face of a Portsmouth player when at Bolton.  If there ever was a punchable offence is that.  Not satisfied with spraying children with saliva, Diouf was accused of taunting Jamie Mackie, doesn’t sound too bad you might think, except that Mackie was lying on the floor with a broken leg at the time.  He’s also been convicted of numerous driving offences in France and England, and I’m sure he’ll soon be able to add Scotland to that list as well.  An all-round nice guy you must admit.

So there it is; the top 5 biggest knobheads in the game.  Don’t agree?  Leave me a comment or just constantly whinge in my ear and swear at me.  After all, that’s what we’ve learnt from these upstanding citizens, isn’t it?

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5 responses

  1. Joe

    All this is redundant as you haven’t inculded Daniel Agger.

    January 28, 2012 at 10:24 pm

  2. Interesting that there are no United players…

    March 3, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    • I was going to have ronaldo in there, purely for his whinging face. There were so many to choose from though!

      March 3, 2012 at 8:26 pm

  3. Indeed, perhaps worthy of a “Top 5” in itself :p and before you state the obvious, yes, we could have one for Arsenal too.

    I’ve also noticed that your “Daily” top 5 seems to be a lot less frequent than daily.

    March 3, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    • Yeah I started off with the best intentions to do a daily top 5, but after a week I had to change it to just ‘top 5’. Bit of a heavy workload in truth.

      Sent from my iPhone

      March 4, 2012 at 10:35 am

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