Because stuff needs talking about.

Archive for April, 2012

What I don’t get is…

…Jeans Today

What’s with all the pockets, and zips, and paint?  Surely there can’t be that much stuff that anyone can need to carry that would necessitate such a gargantuan surplus.  Honestly, people are walking around looking like they’ve pieced together their pants from a ScrewFix catalogue.

The time of combat trousers has long past, so how has their detestable denim relative survived?  Surely it’s time to put them to bed and rid the world of this multi-faceted fashion faux-pas.

Just look at what could happen if we don’t put a stop to this:

Actually, these might be quite handy.


The Difference Between Wright and Wrong.


Well what else would you talk about in the morning?

More often than not, early on a weekday morning, I’m not really too ready to take on the on the kind of debate that is reserved for Friday night’s idiotic chatter with the local, Clarkson brown-nosers down the pub.  Sometimes though, accidentally of course, through bleary eyes I flick on the TV and suddenly a crowd of obstinate and ill-informed self-proclaimed experts appears, spouting nonsense and doggedly rejecting anything that sounds remotely like a differing point of view.  No, it’s not Dave, or news coverage of another incessant political quarrel, it’s Channel 5, and it’s The Wright Stuff.

It seems that there has been some confusion about the role of the panel show when it came to setting up this one.  Surely the idea is to invite a variety of guests representing different sections of societies and viewpoints. Instead, The Wright Stuff plumps for ex-celebrities and the pseudo-famous, basically a selection of irregular This Morning guests and retired minor sports personalities.  To counter-balance the stupidity, a person with a slight grasp on little things like morals and values and even the smallest amount of empathy is drafted in and given the job of buffering the generalisations and ignorance which stream out of the mouths of all around them.  You can almost feel the awkwardness as Anne Diamond bites her tongue and squirms as her fellow panel members regurgitate outdated stereotypes and impossible solutions to issues they don’t have a clue about. I’m almost certain that as she sits there futilely praying for Terry Christian to stop being blasé about everything as a way of avoiding having to respond with anything valid, and watches the glory days of her career dissipate into the ether, buoyed by the fumes from the shit that is being committed to words below.

In the role of mediator we have Matthew Wright who tactfully disperses any tension from the heated debate by dismissing anyone else’s opinion and revealing the ‘right’ view, basically rendering the whole panel section of the show, utterly pointless.  It’s not a problem for a person to air the own personal views, but to smuggle it though as one that has been debated over and then agreed is surely a bit wrong.  After all, any half asleep person who isn’t in work at ten in the morning could be easily susceptible to the subtle suggestions of The Wright Show.  I mean, it’s hard enough not to get involved in the serious topical discussions, let alone such pressing issues such as the infamous, ‘Foxy Knoxy: Would Ya?’ where callers were asked whether they found Amanda Knox, the original suspect in the Meredith Kercher murder case until she was acquitted, or Monday’s quandary of whether Milk Tray has gone down in standard recently.

My personal highlight, and reoccurring feature, of the show is when a poor, unsuspecting member of the home-based audience phones up as requested by Wrighty, only to be barracked and berated for offering their opinion and end up in a petty argument with their favoured host.  Take a look at this for example:

It’s amazing to think that this show still manages to keep people calling in, what with half of the innocent, clueless viewing audience having already been sniped at and cowed by the host and the rest waiting nervously in line like cows outside an abattoir.

But despite this, the show keeps going, the fools keep calling, and the bullshit keeps flowing, fuelling the nation’s skewed pub banter and perpetuating the continuous cycle of bias and single-mindedness which makes Britain, Britain.  You see, there is no difference between Wright and wrong. There can’t be when everything else is dismissed and only the one version of the story is told as the truth.  This is the place where a single opinion is made into fact, and dished out under the guise of the freedom to choose.  Nice one Wrighty.